Relocation and life in mental hospital

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Yesterday they moved me to another building in complex. Hospital is the biggest one here in Czechia, it’s famous for experiments with LSD what did take their place in 60s, when Stanislav Grof was here. Later, as we know, he invented holotropic breathing method (what replaces using of psychedelics) and emigrated to United States of America. I’ve tried LSD but I’ve never tried Grof’s breathing method — they say, you need to do it together with partner you trust to enough, so who knows — maybe, one day… It’s pretty nice that they feed me with vegan gluten-free food and that I have no insects in my hair. Area around is rather beautiful — we have had walks in groups already, but for now they do not allow me to walk alone…

In that new building they gave me back đàn môi, my jaw harp — so I enjoyed playing after break and even recorded something. Oh Gods, it is rather crazy — to record something in mental hospital, what else I can say. I take photos sometimes too, I publish some of them, other ones I plan to publish later or maybe I will include them into some kind of art creation. No jokes here anymore, folks — mental hospital became my home, for certain amount of time, at least…
Just returned from working therapy — oh, I have had hopes to create handmade book(s), I dreamt of real handmade Pillowbook… I am dreamer, they do not create books there, but it was interesting. Tired after just two and half hours of working, I listened to the radio where there were some rock and metal songs — there were tears in my eyes at certain moments, but I did not let them go out. I was — as so often in life — trying my best without rest and then I find myself exhausted, emotionally and physically. Oh Gods, I see ornaments even with medication and they tell they will give me more — and I do not know what to expect — people here do not look alive, but neither they are dead. They told me that they will kick me out or will move me to junkies’ section if I will experiment with psychoactive substances out of my will. But — I do not tell you that it is beginning of the end! I tell you Dharma of Nothing, Dharma of Nothing is that what I tell you, truly. I observe people who live here for pretty long amount of time. I know the ways how to live, the first thing is to follow the Precepts and the Law of Ahimsa. I keep celibacy and stay without using of herbs. The only Faith transforms the matter — believe me, sisters and brothers. And — fuck off the genders! I am genderfuck Buddha and Dharma of Nothing is what I tell you. Our cultures fall into Oblivion, as it happened to living beings so many times. We fall into Oblivion and Dharma of Nothing is what I tell you. Accept my confession and my revelations, brothers and sisters! I love you all and my pure Love from my heart is spreading out, it is not focused on certain person now and this is the way how Love becomes infinite source of Light! Stay pure and keep the Precepts for no-matter-what! Dharma of Nothing is what I tell you and I see Buddhas and Bodhisattvas rising up in Europa, I see the structures falling and merging into that ones what are friends and allies for Earth and her inhabitants, that ones what create Peace on Earth, but no violence!
Wash all the dirt away from your hearts, from your minds — you all are my beloved Buddhas, my blessed schizophrenic Bodhisattvas! Rise up and practice — meditate for Peace on Earth! Keep the Precepts! I am ashamed for eating dirt when I was homeless and I truly do not wish you to feel yourself so ashamed — stay strong and Pure Faith only will protect you, miracles will happen to you as — believe me, my beloved Buddhas — Pure Faith only transforms all the matter and moves the mountains! Jesus did not play tricks with disciples and people around — and I keep in my heart Faith and Love to Jesus Christ. Avoid touching of dirt, avoid eating of dirt — even when you think that you have no choice, think twice! Do not be afraid to be alone, you will never be! You are Pure Ocean of Love, Dharma of Nothing I tell you. Stay pure for sake of Buddha and all the saints…

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