Waking up here in waiting room. Is it Vietnamese what I recognize around in the air? Sure, no doubts. I like the language. But what if I will ever move there to blessed lands? Who knows. Dreams and passions we do have. Me? I just carry this body of flesh. I carry my love. I try to share it with others, I swear. But — I was through so much that I am not sure if psychotherapy may ever be salvation in my case. New room, new friends, new wonderful neighbor who is artist and writer. How do we fly together… Speed did meet me again on my ways. For good? No troubles for now, I guess. All shall be well.
What a lovely language I hear around… But they say — it is always better to love from the distance. As you may meet imperfections of your beloved objects right in front of your face. Story may end. Your love story. I have one what is going on here. Relationships did actually teach me a lot. Did these experiences make me non-possessive person? Well, I am open to different ideas — such as polyamory… I am mono right now, anyway. We are all so materialistic. Tired of matter, tired of capitalism, tired of Europe once more? Not yet. Experiencing love, friends, all that stuff. Russian language does not trigger me so much anymore. All shall be well. Life is short if you are not Immortal. Chaos in my head. Oh that material things and empty small talks what make me feel drained. I wish to run away out of here.
We fell out of the current of normality. Was it euphoric? Yes, indeed. Walking down the street while that two fragments of blue pill are merging together with my own metabolism system. I know almost nothing about biochemistry but I do experiment with my consciousness. Some parts of life become prolonged shamanic journeys. While being in altered states of consciousness, certain traumas become open and painful (it may be so) healing will take its place. Slow and careful observing of our interactions.
Eternity is Infinity — there is NO TIME.
Careful steps on our paths may help to alter perceived “reality” and let the miracles appear in front of us. Collective worlds’ interactions create new multiverses where enhanced power of creation manifests the fruits of phocus direction. I experiment together with allies but that all while I need more time for myself alone, probably. Hell yes. But will it help me to fly in creative flow? Trying to reset my mind once more… To break dysfunctional connections and patterns inside of my head. Trying to figure out if it all is possible to carry for me… Well, I hope so.
Today all feels good for now but I become afraid that I am losing part of me, my integrity. Lonely life has some benefits as well… what can I say. We left Autumn Equinox behind. Blessings to my new friendships. We walked at night through the park. I have seen there ornaments lovely on the narrow paths. Great people took me together with them. They told me they have not seen the ornaments as I remember. So it was mine perception. Probably, the best empathogenic trip what I meet in life. Great patterns appeared in mind, ideas to write down and manifest in more detailed forms here. Still continuing shamanic session here, so long one. Happy to write again. Sometimes while we are in love we lose parts of perceived reality from our focus. It may be hard in the beginning to switch from loner perception to being in relationship if you were alone enough time already.