Notes from the Bardo of life

Day by day, time goes slowly in psychiatric hospital for Bodhisattvas. Lack of motions is what drags me down — oh, I wish to become free again. Impossible now. Well, I can go immediately — but this way will lead me to some unwanted consequences. It’s even comfortable to be here for this piece of…

Autumnal Equinox

Autumnal Equinox meets me here in psychiatric clinic for Bodhisattvas. Time goes by, the walls are wide and well, that’s nice refuge against wind and rain. Nice place for my experiments, but… what I actually do not like, that fact that I should take pills, even if it’s mild drug for treatment of schizophrenia and…

Magician

He arrived in the morning and was waiting for me near main entrance. Me — I was a bit nervous, but I expected and hoped that we’ll meet each other one day, it was in my head in Austrian mountains already. This person who impressed me, who is living example for me to learn from,…

The woods and the clouds…

During school days, I have had some special places in my world, that were chosen for meditation on nature side, for rituals, as well as for celebration of that sacred points in Solar Year Circle — Equinoxes and Solstices. I wish to confess for setting them on fire. I would like to confess for burning…

Relocation and life in mental hospital

Yesterday they moved me to another building in complex. Hospital is the biggest one here in Czechia, it’s famous for experiments with LSD what did take their place in 60s, when Stanislav Grof was here. Later, as we know, he invented holotropic breathing method (what replaces using of psychedelics) and emigrated to United States of…

That paths what lead us through the woods.

When I was about ten years old, I discovered for myself (or just remembered — as we know everything and access any sources of information through our Inner Eye and Ears) northern Runes. Sacred symbols what shamans (northern shamanism is known as Seiðr) carved on wood, stones, their own and others’ bodies — they keep…

First memories from childhood…

I remember myself walking down the street with some tiny little rocks under my feet. I ask my father about some construction elements what were on the yard for reasons of repairing water supply system underground — I asked him, where do they come from. “They grow up, as mushrooms do” — that was the…

Psychiatric Clinic For Bodhisattvas

I am so happy to talk about all that stuff to psychiatrist, after all. That years… experiments with psychoactive substances, broken relationship, internal conflicts, hard life that I go through… but I am still so closed, so stone-hearted — I locked myself from external emotions to hide, for protection, to take a refuge. Eternal escapism?…

Psychiatry is not salvation, Satori is the only answer.

Welcome your schizophrenic Bodhisattvas! Buddha is dead, burn the light in your oven with scrolls of Lotus Sutra. Monks smoke hashish, Temple is done, there is no salvation. Doctor in white robe will come to take your blood — but does it help? Has it something to do with Immortality? Do you call yourself Immortalist…